東莞英凱教育(環(huán)球雅思分校)
雅思6分作文范文解析
- 2025年4月26日
- 文章來自: dgukedu
- 分類: 雅思備考
大家是否想要了解為何你不可以拿到雅思大作文大分嗎?雅思寫作6分要怎么才能得到?關(guān)鍵還是要多看一些6分范文,下面環(huán)球雅思雅思培訓(xùn)老師為大家分析了雅思6分作文范文解析。
雅思6分作文范文解析:
Somepeoplethinkthatasenseofcompetitioninchildrenshouldbeencouraged.Othersbelievethatchildrenwhoaretaughttoco-operateratherthancompetebecomemoreusefuladults.Discussboththeseviewsandgiveyourownopinion.
Nowadays,purposeofeducationbeingchangedinKorea.Therearesomepeoplewhothinkthatcompetitioninchildrenshouldbemade,alsoothersbelievethatchildrenwhoaretaughttoco-operateaswellasbecomemoreusefuladults.Thereareadvantagesanddisadvantagesforbothofthearguments.
Tobeginwith,whatisgoodifasenseofcompetitioninchildrenismade?Theycoulddevelopthemselvesmoreandmoreastheylearnandstudyalottowinfromthecompetition.Toprovethis,inKorea,itispopular-evencommonnow-tohaveatutorwhocometostudent’shousetoteachextrapiecesofstudywithpayingalotofmoney.Theylearnfasterthanwhattheylearnatschool.Furthermore,duringthevocations,studentsstudyabroadtolearnEnglishforamonthinsteadofreviseschoolwork.Iftheyhaveexperimentssuchasstudyabroad,itisoneofthegreatestpluspointtogotothefamouswell-knownhighschool.Moreover,therearefourbigschoolexamandtwonationalexaminationstoteststudents’levelofstudies.Generally,onlythehighest40%cangotothegoodqualityhighschoolsandcollegeschildrenlearnasmuchastheycan,towinthecompetitiontoobtaingoodqualityschools.
Ontheotherhand,astheyarebusytoentertheschoolsandstudyindividuallywiththeirowntutors,thereareproblems.Theybecomeselfish.Theybecomecarelessanddon’thelpothersalotifitisaboutstudies.Therewillbenoco-operationsforthem.Then,whyaretherecompaniesformanypeopletoworkin?eachofthemareclever,however,thereareweakpartsandstrongpartsforeachperson.Toco-operateistoimprovethispart.Peopletalkandlistentowhatothersthinkingofandlearn.Thatcouldalsobeagreatopportunitytolearninsteadoflearningalonewithoneteacher.
Inconclusion,Istronglyagreewiththatchildrenshouldbetaughttoco-operateratherthancompete.Nobodyisperfect.Peoplelearntogether,worktogethertodevelopeachother.therefore,Iwantparentsandteacherstoeducatechildrenconcentratingonco-operation,notcompeteandrankingthem.
問題分析:
從論證大主題的角度而言,此篇文章的收尾是co-operation更重要的成立的,但是這位考生在文字?jǐn)?shù)量分配上卻沒有規(guī)劃,分配給competition的文字明顯多于給co-operation的,這樣給了考官一個(gè)非常合情合理的借口扣分,實(shí)在是遺憾啊!
寫作建議NO.5:Ifitisyourpreference,giveitmorereference.
若大家認(rèn)同那個(gè)觀點(diǎn),那么便在這個(gè)觀點(diǎn)上多寫點(diǎn)吧。
若大家進(jìn)一步看下Body段里的細(xì)節(jié)內(nèi)容,事實(shí)上這位考生的語法功力以及邏輯論證能力比上面那位5分同學(xué)還有一定的距離,但是這篇文章將題目里的2個(gè)方面都提到,沒有犯我的NO.3建議中的錯(cuò)誤。除此之外,文字總量上這一篇文章稱之為2篇都有明顯的優(yōu)勢,所以再強(qiáng)調(diào)下數(shù)量真的也很重要。
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